For a long time, I believed that happiness required effort. That one had to work on oneself, transform oneself, almost repair oneself, to access a more stable, more continuous inner state of peace. Behind this lay a silent but deeply rooted belief: peace would not be our natural state, but something to achieve, to build, to deserve… at the cost of demanding work.
Here, my intention is not to denounce truths drawn from a book, but to share my experience as it has settled within me over time — between meditation, therapy, and inner exploration.
For a long time, I believed that happiness required effort.
That one had to work on oneself, transform oneself, almost repair oneself, to access a more stable, more continuous inner state of peace.
Behind this lay a silent but deeply rooted belief:
peace would not be our natural state, but something to achieve, to build, to deserve… at the cost of demanding work.
This is a subject that touches something very intimate in us.
So I hope that my journey can shed light on, or open a space for questioning, your own path.
🌿 First questioning: my first meditation retreat
At the end of my first silent retreat, something opened.
Not in a spectacular way, but like a veil gently lifting: a feeling of inner peace.
A space of awareness that I had previously known only through brief sparks.
A deep state of peace, an almost obvious acceptance of what is, accompanied by unconditional love.
In the days that followed, I saw myself crying with joy, smiling at situations that would previously have stressed me.
And a question appeared, simple and dizzying at the same time:
Can this state last?
And above all… why had it never seemed so accessible before? Why now?
🌿 Second questioning: after certain EMDR sessions
In my experience, both personal and clinical, it sometimes happens that after integrating a trauma, something loosens deeply.
As if, for an instant, everything becomes simple again.
As if nothing needed to be changed for everything to already be « ok ».
An inner peace, a calm, deep and anchored.
Often accompanied by a feeling of openness, like an intimate understanding that, in a certain way… everything is already in its place.
Over time — meditation, conscious breathing, therapeutic work — these states began to appear more often.
In spirituality, we sometimes speak of a non-dual state:
a space where things are no longer separated into good or bad, but simply perceived in their presence.
And yet… these states pass.
🧠 So, is peace truly our natural state?
From the perspective of neuroscience, the answer invites nuance.
Our brain is not designed to be happy, but to survive.
It is constantly scanning, anticipating, detecting what might threaten our balance — what is called the negativity bias.
In this sense, it is almost logical that a continuous state of peace seems difficult to maintain.
Our nervous system spontaneously returns to vigilance, to movement.
And yet, something essential nuances this:
the brain is malleable.
It transforms through our experiences.
Practices such as meditation deeply modify the way we regulate our emotions and inhabit our inner states.
In other words, peace may not be our automatic state…
but it remains deeply accessible, cultivable.
🌍 What if our environment also played a role?
Is the world in which we live truly conducive to peace?
A fast pace, constant demands, continuous stimulation of the nervous system, a life often far from natural cycles…
Perhaps what we call « difficulty being at peace » is also the reflection of an environment that does not support this state.
🧘♀️ And from a spiritual perspective?
The perspective almost inverts.
And this is where, for me, something becomes particularly alive.
In many traditions, peace is not something to build.
It would already be there, in the background of all our experiences.
What keeps us away from it would not be a lack… but an accumulation:
- of conditioning
- of stories
- of protective mechanisms
What we call the ego — that voice that comments, compares, interprets — maintains a form of tension, like a permanent background noise.
In this vision, it is not about becoming happy.
But about gradually seeing what prevents peace from being felt.
🌊 Why do these states not last?
Perhaps because recognising peace and remaining in it are two different things.
After these moments of opening, old circuits gently take their place again.
Thinking habits reactivate.
Attention settles back on the mind.
Peace does not necessarily disappear…
but it is no longer in the foreground.
Some traditions speak of two movements:
recognise… then stabilise.
As if seeing were one thing,
but fully inhabiting that vision were another.
🌱 Another way of seeing things
Today, what my experience leads me to feel is more nuanced, but also gentler.
Perhaps peace is, in a certain way, our deep nature…
but it is not yet our default functioning.
And in this sense, « inner work » would not be a struggle to become a better person,
nor a quest to reach a particular state.
But rather an unlearning.
A patient shedding of layers.
Removing, layer after layer, what keeps us away from this simplicity.
✨ What if…
What if, in the end, the path were not to become happy…
but to let appear what is already there, when everything else settles?
I love sharing the books that have inspired me on this path, so today here is one of the books that opened the door to these questions, in novel form:
If you would like to go deeper or begin a meditation practice: I offer to guide you in individual sessions
